Fifty Shades Needed
by JaceWayland026
Summary: Taking place after the first book when Ana left Christian a few twists enter the story. Will Ana and Christian get back together? Will Elena Lincoln tempt Christian into the life he had before? Will Jack Hyde blackmail Ana for something he desires? How will life be with controlling fifty? Will love and family make Ana have to choose between life & death? Will Christian walk out?
1. Chapter 1

Fifty Shades Needed

Chapter 1

I can't move. I find myself trying to get off of the floor in my kitchen, but I can't find the strength. I'm a mess, ever since… No. I cannot think about that. I miss Kate. She's still gone off on her vacation in Barbados with her family and Elliot Grey. Elliot Grey, _his_ brother. She's with _his_ brother. I decide I need to get off of this damn floor right now, or I'll think about _him. _ I start to sob. I can't stop. I wish I never walked out. But I had to. I couldn't be… what _he _wanted. What _he_ needed. I find the strength to get up, but I only make it to the couch. I can hardly see. My eyes are blurry, full of tears. I reach for a tissue on the coffee table, but they're gone. I finished _another_ box of tissues. I give up and just use my sleeve, since I don't really care, and I can't remember at the moment where we keep the other boxes of kleenex. The door buzzes with a man saying "Delivery for Anastasia Steele." For a moment my heart leaps out of my chest, wondering what it could be. I race to the front door in the lobby from my apartment. My heart drops as I'm rendered with disappointment. I don't know what I was expecting. Actually I do, I was hoping the delivery _would be_ Christian Grey. But it's just a rectangular package, but it's heavy. I sign for it and make my way back up to my room. I search the outside of the package to find a clue as to whom it may be from. Not a clue, but I have a hope. I open it as neatly as I can with trembling fingers not wanting to make a mess. There's a Mac Computer in it with a note scrawled on a piece of paper tapped to the top of the Mac. Holy crap. Who on Earth would send me a Mac?! I know that handwriting. It's _his. _This package is from _him. _On the note it says in _his _neat handwriting:

-Anastasia

Have a great 1st day at work tomorrow.

Here is my gift to you for your new job.

I have sent you an email on _your _new lab top.

-Christian

Oh. My. God. Christian Grey just sent me a Mac computer! I turn it on and eagerly try to get to my email. I can't accept this. We broke up. I'm just gonna check my email and email him back saying that I cannot except this, and will mail it back. I quickly log on to my email and find one email from Christian Grey. I click on it with my heart beating so fast, I need to catch my breath. It says:

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Thoughtful Gifts

Date: June 7th, 2011 11:04

To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia

I would like to thank you very much for my glider.

I love it. It sits very proudly on my desk. This is just

my way of saying thank you.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holding Inc.

I don't know what to say or do. Do I email him back? Do I ignore him? If I try and send the Mac back, no doubt he'll send it back until I keep it. I'll email him tomorrow, I don't wanna sound desperate. _Even though you are! _ My subconscious yells at me. I scowl at her. I just need to hide this somewhere. It reminds me too much of him. I don't wanna look at it. I turn it off and bring it to Kate's room and put it on her bed. I can't walk away though. It's the only thing I have of him. I made sure not to have anything of his, so I wouldn't feel like this. I walk it to my room and put it on my bed. There that should do, I think to myself. Then I turn on my heel and stalk off to the bathroom.

I think I just need to take a shower and weep. I strip off my sweats and then my black panties. I don't even bother to wear a bra anymore. I switch on the shower, grab a towel and sling it over the curtain. Then I turn and see myself in the mirror. I look terrible. I know it's only been a little more than a week, but I look like I've lost at least fifteen pounds. I try to remember the last time I ate… I think it was my last meal with Christian. To be honest I just haven't been hungry. The idea of food is unsettling. My eyes are blotchy. They're all red from crying, and they have bags under them from lack of sleep. Instead of sleeping I cry. I just can't sleep well, because I dream of him. I shake my head as if to clear my thoughts and hop into the shower.

* * *

I cannot fall asleep. I'm weeping too hard. I keep trying to breathe evenly, but all that comes out is a hard sob. I need to fall asleep. I can't wake up tomorrow, with red puffy eyes, at work. I try to calm down, but it's not working very well. _Get a hold of yourself Steele! _ My subconscious snaps at me. I try to listen to her for once and just shut my eyes and pretend I'm a little innocent kid again. I picture Ray and my mom together, with me and it helps enough for me to be quiet. Even though I still have tears running down my temples into my hair and on my pillow. Eventually I stop…

The next morning when I wake up I try to get myself to eat something. Anything. But I just can't because if I do I feel like I'm about to barf. I just forget about it and go raid Kate's closet for something to wear. I settle on a cute white long sleeved blouse with flowy frills going down along the buttons, and an above the knees black pencil skirt, both from Express. I love that Kate knows about fashion, because the only thing I know is where the expensive stores are, and what match. I also grab a pair of black pumps from Target. Thank god Kate has the same size shoe as me! Because otherwise I'd be wearing flip flops. I try to pin my hair to look sophisticated and I succeed! Just a little bit of makeup in case I cry. Don't want any running mascara.

* * *

I decide to take the bus to work since I have no car anymore. I must cash the check in at some point… The check from _him _that is for twenty-four thousand dollars, which I'm pretty sure, is far too much for my old car Wanda. _He's _just being the controlling sincere fifty that he is by probably most likely adding a few thousand dollars to it. I could've taken Kate's car but I don't know where she left the keys. I'll have to ask her… but then she'll ask me what happened to my Audi, so I can't ask Kate, since I don't feel like getting the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition. But oh well, I'll stick with the bus for now.

* * *

It is nearly 9:00 when I arrive at work. "Hi you must be Anastasia Steele, our new employee! I'm Claire." "Hi Claire. Please, call me Ana." I say as warmly as I can. She seems like somebody I could be close friends with. She's pretty and blonde, much like Kate. Oh I miss Kate, I think as I make my way to my new desk.

"Hello Ana, nice to see you honey, you look great!" Says Jack from his office. I blush unaware of what to say. He's being very inappropriate for work! He just called me honey! I'm not your honey, is all I can think. "Thank you Jack," is all I can get out without gagging. "Ana, I left some manuscripts on your desk that I'll need first chapters read by the time you leave. I would like full reports on them too." "No problem Jack," is all I say before I get busy, hoping that it will distract me from my personal problems.

* * *

By the time I finish I put my manuscripts on Jack's desk and head for the door. "Ana." Crap. It's Jack. What does he want? I turn around with a fake smile on my face. "I was wondering if you would like to go out for a drink tonight with me and some of the staff. It's on me. Consider it… a welcome to work night." I ponder this for a second. Maybe a night out would be good for me. I might even get drunk. "Sure Jack. Sounds lovely. When and where?" He looks almost excited that I said yes. A huge grin spreads over his face. "Right now actually, at the bar across the street. Some people all already there. Would you like me to accompany you? I'm on my way now." "Yes, that would be nice." I say as he takes my arm.

* * *

Once there Jack orders two Bloody Mary's. He hands one to me as we sit on the bar stools and chat. Jack is sitting unusually close to me, but I've taken notice that he happens to do this everyone, which makes me a bit more comfortable, but not much. "Do you have a boyfriend, Ana?" Jacks question catches me off guard. I don't really know what to say, because what I want to say I can't. "I just recently got out of a relationship" is all I can actually say, without crying. "What happened?" Jack asks, and if I'm not mistaken he actually looks concerned. But as I look into his eyes, he has a dark look in them. But almost in an instant it disappears. I'm saved by having to answer that as Claire comes over to sit next to me on the bar stools. "Hey Ana! What's up?" Claire asks. "Not much" I reply. "Well I just came over to say goodnight. Anyone need a ride?" " Actually I would love one." I think I should go home because if I stay on this subject I know that I'll burst into tears, and I can't do that in front of Jack. Not now, not here, not ever. I turn to Jack and he looks frustrated or bummed, I can't really tell which. Maybe a little of both. "Thank you Jack, for the drink. See you tomorrow." "Can I get you to stay by buying you another drink?" Jack asks sounding a little desperate if I might add. "No thank you Jack, I'm gonna turn in early. Goodnight." I turn on my heel and follow Claire out. So much for getting drunk, but I know I can't do that with Jack. I don't know why, but I have the chills.

* * *

As Claire and I get into the car she puts her hand on my shoulder and looks into my eyes. "Don't trust Jack," she says seriously. I don't know what to say so I just give her a confused look. She sees my dumbfounded expression and sighs. As Claire turns on the car taking her hand off my shoulder, she goes into detail. "Jack doesn't know that I know. The last intern in your position was my friend. She told me everything. Everything that he did to her. She begged me not to tell, so I didn't, except now I'm telling you since you could be next." "W-What did he do to her?" I stutter, feeling very scared. She glances at me and quickly asks where I live. "He blackmailed her for sex." Claire states and I gasp and start silently crying. Claire sees my tears, and as if to make me feel better she looks at me and tries to comfort me by patting my back. "It's ok Ana, I'm with you. What he did was awful, and apparently he'd done it to some other of his assistants. None of them have lasted more than three months." "Oh my God." Is all I can say as Claire slows to a stop, at Kate's and I's apartment. "I just thought you should know." Claire says sadly. "Thank you for telling me" I say as I get out of the car. Once the door's shut she rolls down the window. "See you tomorrow Ana. Try to sleep alright" she says sincerely. She rolls up the window and drives away.

I have no idea what to do. I stay there and look at the spot where she drove away. I'm there for probably ten minutes, before I go inside.

* * *

I don't know why, but I make sure I lock the door and all the windows right away, even thought we have like no windows but I do it anyways. I go to my closet and take out a duffel bag that has one of Christian's white T-shirts and throw it on the bed. I remember taking it so clearly.

_I cannot stop crying, I need to stop. Christian can't see me like this. He can't know how much I'm hurting. I'm throwing everything that's mine into the bag I don't care how unorganized it is, I just need to get the fuck out of here. I finish packing my stuff up and leave a note and the glider I got Christian on my bed, our bed, his bed. Yes his bed, not mine it was never mine and never ours. I quickly scan the hallway to make sure no one's there, then I make a dash to his room, go in his drawer and take one of his T-shirts. I don't know why I'm doing this! This is stupid, but I have my re- "No I need it tomorrow! No just fucking do it! I don't care! Now Andrea!" Christian's on the phone yelling and I can tell he's very upset, so I quickly stash the shirt in my bag, take a deep breath, and go to face Christian._

I throw the shirt on the bed take by hair down, strip my clothes off and pull Christian's T-shirt and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. God, I am so pale. Why am I so freakin' pale! I go to the bathroom, wash my hands and exit the room. I quickly fire up the Mac computer to get to my email, I said I'd email him back today.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Thoughtful Gifts

Date: June 8th 2011 23:16

To: Christian Grey

You're very much welcome for the glider, I'm very

happy to hear that it sits on your desk. And thank

you very much for the Mac, though is there anyway

you'll let me return it to you? It's too much Christian.

Please let me send it back, I really don't need it.

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Commissioning Editor SIP.

I can't say that I'm surprised to receive a response, only seconds after. This is fifty.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Thoughtful Gifts/ Shows

Date: June 8th 23:17

To: Anastasia Steele

Ms. Steele what are you doing up, shouldn't you be

resting for work tomorrow? And you're very much

welcome for the Mac, and no you may not return it

it is my gift to you. And I hope you had a great first

day at work. Would you like me to pick you up tomo-

rrow, to bring you to that boys show? I assume you

haven't had time to purchase a vehicle yet. Let me

know.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Oh my gosh. I completely forgot about Jose's show! I'm such a bad friend! But I do need a ride and I would love to see Christian again. But could I? Does this mean that Christian Grey wants to see me tomorrow?

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Thoughtful Gifts/ Shows

Date: June 8th 23:19

To: Christian Grey

The boy has a name and it's Jose, by the way. And

you shouldn't be such a hypocrite. You're up too,

might I point out. And I would very much like you to

pick me up tomorrow, seeing as if I don't have a ride.

The show starts tomorrow at seven, so when do you

think you should pick me up? Get back to me on that

please. And please reconsider the gift?

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Commissioning Editor SIP.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Thoughtful Gifts/ Shows

Date: June 8th 23:20

To: Anastasia Steele

I'll pick you up at six thirty p.m. tomorrow. And no

The lap top is YOURS. Now go to bed. I will see you

tomorrow.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

He can't tell me to go to bed! How dare he! I'm not his anymore.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Tomorrow

Date: June 8th 23:22

To: Christian Grey

Tomorrow it is. And you cannot tell me when to go to

bed! I am a grown woman and I can make my own ch-

oices. Now goodnight! See you tomorrow at six thirty.

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Commissioning Editor SIP.

And with that I shut off my computer and go to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I didn't dream of anything. I didn't cry either. I'm not… depressed. And it's because I know I'm going to see him. Christian Grey. I'm actual… excited. Is that bad of me? _Of course not you idiot! You might get lucky tonight!_ My inner goddess yells. I glare at her, mortified, but knowing that that's a possibility. But do I want that? No. No I don't. Like I've said before, I cannot be with Christian. I'm not what he needs. I'm surprised to find that I actually have an appetite this morning.

I shuffle to the fridge and find that all we've got is a cartoon of eggs with only three in it. I decide to make scrambled eggs and using the lab top that Christian gave me, I go to youtube and look up 'Blow' by Ke$ha. I'm actually starting to love her and don't ask why. As I dance around the kitchen, I'm singing "this place about to blow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, blow oh oh oh oh oh oh."I haven't been in this type of mood in forever, it seems.

Once I'm finished with my breakfast, I go and take a fifteen minute shower, making sure to shave. As I'm blow drying my hair, I remember back to the time went someone else was blow drying my hair, and it wasn't my mom or Kate. It was Christian. I wish he were here now to do this, my arms are starting to hurt.

I decide it's ok to leave it a little damp, and go to Kate's room [again] in search of a new outfit. Today I pick a dress that Kate almost _never _wears, that I have worn several times. It's a short sleeved gray, above the knee length dress. It's very flowy, which is what I like about it. It's from Forever 21 and I simply adore it. I pair it with a thick black belt, and the same black pumps I wore yesterday, and I pin my hair up the same way I also did yesterday.

As I make my way to the bathroom, I notice my cheeks look pinker than they did yesterday. Probably since I ate this morning. I decide to apply some concealer and some mascara and red lipstick. There. Kate would be proud. I look hot.

Once I walk into the building, Claire glances up at me with a pained look, and suddenly everything from last night comes flooding back to me. I lose my great mood, and all of a sudden feel like crying. "Morning Ana," Claire gives me a reassuring smile. "Morning Claire," is all I say as I make my way to my desk.

"Ana!" Jack yells clearly annoyed. I rush to his office, to find him with his head in his hands. He glances up as I knock on the doorframe. "Could you be a dear and go get me a coffee and two aspirin please. I have a searing headache." "Right away Jack," I say as I leave his office and head to the kitchen. Somebody must've followed through on getting drunk last night.

As I make my way to the kitchen I bump into Claire who's getting a cup of tea. "Hey Claire," I say as I reach the coffee pot. "Where are the aspirins? Jack's hungover," I say feeling like I need to elaborate, as I see her confused expression. She makes an _ew _face as she points to a cabinet. "Thanks," I say as I gather Jack's coffee, and aspirin, and head out the door.

"Thanks honey, appreciate it," Jack says as I back out of his office. "Ana." I turn to face Jack as he says "I need to you to come with me to Los Angeles on Thursday. We have a meeting with another company that we need to give a presentation to. I would like you to come seeing as you're my assistant, and I think you're plenty qualified for the job," Jack states with that dark look in his eyes. I don't want to! I'm afraid to. But I don't think anything will happen. If he comes onto me, I'll just turn him down. "I need you to book the airline tickets, so if you would please do so now," and with that I go back to my computer, and do as he says.

It's not like we're going to be alone, we're giving a presentation… Right? _Yeah right Steele, he just wants you in your panties! _ My subconscious decides not to help, so I just ignore her. I decide I should get to work, when I see a new email in my inbox. As I open it I'm not surprised as to who it's from.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Tonight

Date: June 9th 2011 14:09

To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia

Where shall I pick you up tonight?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises, Holdings Inc.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Tonight

Date: June 9th 2011 14:28

To: Christian Grey

Kate and I's apartment please.

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Commissioning Editor SIP.

For some reason my good mood comes back.

When I get home it's five thirty. I simply don't know what to do with myself, so I decide to read 'Dear John' by Nicolas Sparks. He's really starting to grow on me.

When I glance up at the time, it's already six fifteen. I go to the bathroom pull down my hair, and brush out all the tangles. It doesn't look that flattering. I so hope Kate left behind some hair products, I think to myself as I search the cabinets. Bingo! Big Sexy Hair! I've seen Kate use this a million times. If I just spray some everywhere… and wala! Sexy hair it is. I need to touch up my makeup just a smidge. Add a little more red lips. More mascara, and perfect!

I grab my purse [Kate's purse but it's one she never uses anymore.] It's from Charming Charlie's and it's an oversized gray and black tote. It's got frilly flowers on it that I love. Once I hear the buzzer I head down the stairs. My heart is pounding! I try to take it slow as I make my way to the lobby's front entrance. As I open the door there stands Taylor.

"Hello Ms. Steele. Shall I accompany you to the car?" Taylor asks, but I know it's not a question. "Hi Taylor, and yes you may. It's nice to see you again." Taylor's look remains impassive, but I sense a small grin, in his voice.

As we make our way to the car, Taylor opens my door for me. I try my best not to be clumsy and slide in to the car. I feel eyes on me the whole time. Ready or not, it's time to face him.

I look up at Christian and he's staring at me in either horror or pain. "Hello Christian," I say and I'm relieved to find that my voice is strong.

"When was the last time you ate?" Christian snaps, clearly mad. "It's nice to see you too Christian." Is all I can think of as a reply. He doesn't get to care anymore, this does not concern him.

"Answer me Anastasia!" He raises his voice at me. Feeling like a coward, I answer him. No need to get your panties is a bun, Me Grouchy Pants. "I had scrambled eggs this morning," and as I look at him his face softens a little bit, and I can see that he looks just fine. He's dressed in his usual CEO gray suit. And he's wearing _those _pants! The ones that hang off his hips in that way. I turn my head towards the window, feeling a blush creep up to my cheeks.

It's not fair that he gets to looks like he just walked out of a photo shoot, after all this time!

"Ana look at me," Christian commands. I turn my face to him and see that he's staring at me in wonder. As I look into his eyes, I see pain. And regret. I want to go sit on his lap to comfort him, but I stop myself. "Why am I here Christian?" I ask not even knowing why I came anymore, because all I feel is hurt. I just want to cry.

He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Just seeing him like this pulls at my heart. I still love this man. A single tear rolls down my cheek, and I wipe it away angrily.

"Ana… I want you back." I stare at Christian uncomprehending what he just said to me. Did he really just say that he wants me back? I can't go back with him! Can I? "But I can't be everything you need," I almost whisper conscious of Taylor in the front seat, I give him a glance, but he seems not to be listening.

"You are everything I need!" Christian almost sobs. All I can do is shake my head at him. I'm at a loss for words. Christian's staring at me, pleading. Thankfully we've arrived.

Taylor pulls to a stop and opens my door for me. I get out and see Christian by my side, his composure back to his 'I'm a CEO, do as I say' look. He takes my arm as we make our way to the front entrance. Our conversation forgotten about.

Once inside, I see Jose almost right away. As he sees me his face brightens, but then he frowns, seeing Christian next to me. I just have to smile, seeing how happy he looks. "Hey Ana! You look good, have you lost weight?" He asks as he pulls me into an awkward hug, seeing as Christian won't let go of my arm. When he pulls away Christian turns to me and says that he'll go get us a drink.

As Christian leaves, I find myself missing his touch. "I'm so glad you came!" Jose says excitedly as we walk around looking at his photographs. "Why wouldn't I come? Besides, I promised you I'd be here." He gives me an embarrassed smile and a blush rises to his cheeks, at the same time a blush rises to mine.

"I should warn you Ana-," Jose gets cut off by a "Mr. Rodriguez, could we get your picture here and ask you a few questions?" Jose gives me an apologetic shrug as he makes his way over to some people. I can't help but be happy for him. He's worked so hard for this. He deserves it.

As I walk around people keep giving me odd glances. I just try to ignore it, by looking at Jose's detailed art.

Christian makes his way over to me, empty handed. "They don't have any good wine here," he says clearly annoyed, even though I would be fine with just about anything.

"Are you almost ready to go?" Christian asks. "Christian, we just got here," I point out. "I suppose we can stay here a little longer, but you need to eat Anastasia," Christian scolds as if I'm a child. "I don't need to eat anything I don't want to," I argue back. " Yes you do, it's not healthy for you to be this thin," he hisses, with an edge to his tone that makes me look up at him. He's staring up at something that makes me follow his gaze.

I freeze as I notice a wall full of portraits of me. That must be why I've been getting all the weird looks. Their looks to be about a dozen. I'm clearly unaware of him taking these photos of me in the pictures.

There's one of me laughing, another of me sleeping. There's one of me smiling, one of me scowling. My favorite is one of me reading 'New Moon' by Stephanie Meyers. Each one has me with a different look on my face. I don't know whether or not I should be mad or embarrassed. I risk a glance at Christian and he looks fascinated, but also angry. There's several people looking at them, one of the people I recognize. Who now terrifies me.

I clutch on to Christian arm tighter, afraid I'm going to fall.

It's my boss. Jack Hyde. And he's staring at my pictures, with that dark look in his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Christian senses my discomfort and stars down at me, with a worried look on his face. I tug on his arm as if to make him move. Of course, he doesn't budge. So I decide to tell him something, I know he can't resist. "I'm hungry, can we go eat please?" I plead to Christian, hoping he won't ask any questions.

He nods, as we're about to turn and head out, but so does Jack. He sees me and stops in his tracks before making an advance. He puts a warm smile on his face as he stalk towards us. "Ana what a lovely surprise!" he exclaims.

"Jack," I greet as formally as I can.

As I look up, Christian is staring at Jack, with what I would imagine jealousy, as he protectively clutches on to me tighter, and I'm greatful, since otherwise I'd probably be shaking.

Christian and Jack lock eyes, and I think I see pure hate, in Jack's eyes. Christian's eyes hold the same emotion as Jack's.

Feeling as though I'm gonna be sick, I'm able to make introductions.

"Christian. This is my boss, Jack Hyde. Jack this is Christian Grey my fr-"

"I'm Christian, Ana's boyfriend." Christian says in his official CEO voice. As glance up at Christian, about to correct him, I stop when I see the look in his eyes. I know that look, and I know better than to argue, so I shut my mouth.

Jack looks taken aback, as he glances between us nervously.

He looks back up at Christian. "_The Christian Grey?" _Jack almost stutters.

As if to say "the one and only," Christian offers Jack a tight smile that does not touch his eyes.

"I thought you said, you didn't have a boyfriend?" Jack directs his question back towards me and I can tell he's mad.

"I-

"We're back together," Christian states, as matter of fact, cutting me off again.

I open my mouth, about to protest, but Christian silences me with an ice cold glare. So all I can do is give Jack a small smile.

"I'll be right back," Christian whispers to me as he leaves my side, and I'm left here alone with Jack, even though we are surrounded by people, I still get chills.

Jack takes a step closer and stops. "Are you excited for Los Angeles, Ana? I know I am" Jack says, and I take a small step back, bumping in to someone. I turn around to apologize, but thankfully, it's just Christian.

"That was quick," I say as Christian puts his arm, back around me and I completely relax, hoping it's not visible.

"I just went to buy some of Jose's portraits, but they've already been bought," Christian says angrily. I glance up at him and I know, he is _not _happy.

"Come. We should eat. Nice meeting you Jack," Christian says coldly as he turns us around.

I wave goodbye to Jack, relieved, that we're leaving, and Jack's mouth is set in a determined grimace, and he has that dark look in his eyes that makes me wanna barf.

I tug on Christian's arm, making him halt. He stares down at me as I say "I need to say goodbye to Jose."

Christian lets me go and runs a hand through that unruly hair and makes an impatient noise. "Fine. We'll say goodbye to the boy then we leave. Christian guides me toward Jose, who is in a circle surrounded by girls.

"Excuse me ladies," Jose says as he sees us and makes his way over.

"Hey ladies man," I say teasingly, as Jose blushes. "Sorry, but we have to go, very nice artwork."

"What? You just got here! Can't you stay a little bit longer?" Jose pleads.

"Goodbye Jose, but we have dinner reservations, and Ana needs to eat," Christian says clearly annoyed.

I look up at Christian. How dare he say I need to eat! I'm fine. I can eat whenever and wherever I want! But as I'm thinking this, my stomach grumbles, and realize that I actually am famished, so I decide not to argue. And I **know **that I wouldn't win anyways.

I pull out of Christian's hold and give Jose a hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Good job Jose! See you later!" I say happily. In return I get Jose's blush.

"See you later Ana!" Jose exclaims, waving, while Christian drags me to the exit.

"That was rude!" I scold Christian once we're outside. He ignore but and whips out his phone.

He glares at me. "They want you in your panties Anastasia," Christian snaps.

I gasp in surprise, how dare he say that!

"Welch! Get me info on Jack Hyde," Christian snaps into the phone. He pauses while listening to the other person. "Yes… Figure it out!" Christian hangs up, without even a goodbye, while staring at me, the whole time.

I stare back at him incredibly, as he motions to Taylor to bring the car around.

"So it's not enough to stalk me, but now you have to stalk MY BOSS TOO! I almost scream. Who does he think he is. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Christian Grey, the successful stalking arse!

As Taylor brings the car around, Christian moves to take my arm, but I pull it away, and stalk off to the car, but not before seeing his hurt expression. Damn, by doing that I just hurt his feelings! But in a moment it vanishes, as he follows me to the car. I don't care anymore! He hurt me first! Taylor hops out of the car to open my door, but I glower at him, which causes him cower and blush as he sits back in his seat.

I throw open the door and slam it, as hard as I can, while Christian slides in next to me. I don't know why, I'm so angry! I just wanna throw something! Preferably at him!

When I look at him, his expression is amused. "So you're not just mad at me then, I take it."

I glower at him, and turn my gaze to the window, feeling his eyes on me.

"Ana?" I make no motion, that I heard him. "Are you ignoring me?" I sense his smile.

I turn to Taylor and ask "Taylor can you please drop me off, at my apartment?"

"Taylor, continue to the restaurant," Christian commands.

I glare at him, and he glares back.

"Taylor my apartment."

"Anastasia-

"DON'T YOU ANASTASIA ME!" I shout at him.

"You need to eat. I need to make sure that you do," Christian states. "Taylor restaurant."

"You can't make me do anything that I don't want to do," I hiss.

"I thought you said you wanted to eat," Christian replies.

"I do want to eat. But not with you."

"Please," he pleads.

He actually has the decency to look wounded.

"Christian, I swear to God, if you don't turn this car around I _will _jump out of this car and take a cab home!" I threaten.

He runs his hands through his hair clearly exasperated. As if to calm himself he pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath.

When he opens his eyes, he smirks at me.

"Taylor, take us to Ms. Steele's apartment."

"Why are you smirking at me?" I don't know why, but it only makes me even madder.

"Because Anastasia, you are so stubborn, and maybe you won't let me take you out for dinner, but I guess dinner is at your apartment tonight instead," his expression once again, is amused.

I roll my eyes in exasperation. In return, I get a dark look from him.

"Do not roll your eyes at me Anastasia, or I will take you over my knee," he threatens.

I blush knowing that Taylor is in the front seat, hearing all of this.

"You wouldn't," I hiss.

"Try me," he challenges.

I roll my eyes again at him again and instantly regret it.

Thankfully, we arrive. I'm so happy Jose's show was here in Seattle, instead of Portland, its original location, because otherwise, I don't know what would've happened.

Taylor, gets out of the car, and comes around to open my door for me. This time, I let him. As I get out I thank him and in return, receive a small smile and a slight nod of the head.

As I make my way to the lobby, Christian is talking to Taylor, but I can't tell what he's saying. Christian turns and follows me as Taylor drives away.

Expectant bastard! If he thinks he's gonna stay the night he is most definitely wrong.

I try to take the stairs at a normal pace, not wanting to trip, and give Christian the satisfaction, of helping me up.

I stop outside, my doorway. The door is a crack open. What the hell. Did I really forget to shut it all the way. No. I shut it, because I can see that the lock is broken. And I'm pretty Goddamned sure I locked it. Someone must've broken into my home. Or maybe Kate's home! I so hope that it's the second thought as I see Christian, just making it to the top step.

I push the door open, before he can see me hesitate.

Holy shit.

I gasp as I see my apartment.

My furniture is all torn up. The lamps are knocked on the ground, the light bulbs shattered. The kitchen a mess, as all the condiments are scattered, and all the cabinets open. The TV looks as if someone kept hitting it with a crow bar or a shovel. All the picture frames are broken, and the pictures are all out of there frames and torn up.

I let out a whimper, as I see a picture of me my mom and Ray, torn up to shreds lying on the also broken coffee table. Damn, I loved that table.

I walk towards the picture frame, but Christian grabs my arm and pulls me back. I try to break his hold as Christian answers his phone.

"Taylor call Sawyer and Ryan, we need back up. Ana's apartment has been broken into."

He must've called Taylor, but I didn't see him dial.

He hangs up and calls another number. I don't hear what he says this time since I break his hold and run to find another broken picture frame, with the picture in it. I gasp as I realize what photo this is. This was buried in my sock drawer. I couldn't look at it. Except now I can't stop looking at it.

It's of me and Christian. It's the one of us at my graduation. I'm staring into the camera smiling, while Christian is staring down at me, with a small smile, playing on his lips.

I hear a scream or a mangled type of yells as I'm staring at the picture. I can't even see anymore, as my eyes fill with water.

I feel, big strong arms wrap me into an embrace.

Then I realize the sound must've been me, and I'm in Christian's arms crying.

I take a few deep breaths, to control my sobs, and I settle down a little. Enough to look into Christian's eyes.

He looks almost… guilty and pained.

As we look into each other's eyes, we lean in closer.

I break away, as I hear people making their way into the room.

Oh my. Was I just about to kiss him? I can't. He can't. Was he about to kiss me?

There's no need to confuse either of us further, because I know nothing can happen and it will only make me hurt more. This man has caused me the greatest pain I have ever experienced, to the point where it actually made me once sick. I remember puking my guts out, since I felt so awful. So horrified as to what I'd done. What he'd done to me. I can't bare to think of that night. I shake my head to try to clear my thoughts.

Didn't he say he wanted me back though? Oh what does that mean?! This man is so hard to comprehend. I can't think about this now. Not with… everything that's going on. I have other, more important priorities at the moment.

"Ma'am?" I hear a voice ask. I look up to see a man staring at me, with a confused facial expression. He looks to be maybe late thirties, early forties. He's maybe six feet tall and he's bald.

"Y-yes?" I stutter. _Way to go Steele! You just made yourself look like an idiot! _ My subconscious can be so cruel sometimes.

"Do you own this apartment Ma'am?" asks the man.

"Yes. Well no. My roommates parents bought this for us and I just pay rent," I say hoping that it's good enough to get him off my back. I do not feel like doing this right now.

"Well Ms…?"

"Steele," Christian replies in a harsh tone. Probably angry at what just stopped us from… what? What exactly did this just stop us from?

"Ms. Steele we're going to need to search the place, see what we can find. If you could just step out momentarily please?" he asks, but I know it's a demand. I get so many of those lately.

"Of course," I say hoping to sound strong, but my voice wavers.

"We'd also like to question you tonight, if possible. Here's my card," as he hands it to me, Christian takes it right before I can.

As he scans over it, he glances up at the man – who I don't even know the name of – and gets in his face.

"You can question Ms. Steele tomorrow. She'll be staying at my place tonight, since it clearly is not safe here," Christian snaps.

"I am not going to stay-" I start to protest, but Christian silences me with a look.

"If you have any questions-" Christian goes in his breast pocket of his jacket and pulls out his card – "call this number," by Christian's tone of voice, if I were him, I wouldn't call.

"O-of course Mr. Grey-y," the man stutters clearly well aware, of who Christian is.

"Ana, go grab anything you need quickly," Christian says impatiently.

As I make no move to leave, Christians glances down at me.

"I'm sure you've got everything _I'd need_," I snap at him.

"Ms. Steele, I'm afraid to tell you, that you're gonna need to leave everything here, until we've finished our search," he says shakily, probably because Christian is beside me.

"That's fine," I say coldly.

"Uh, Ma'am?" he looks down towards my hand, and I realize I'm still holding the picture of me and Christian.

I feel myself blush with stupidity. I really don't want to give him this picture. I hesitate, and hand it over.

"When can I come back?" I ask sounding hopeful.

"We'll call you tomorrow morning and brief you, but for right now this is a crime scene. You're going to need to find a place to stay for a while."

"She'll be staying with me," Christian growls. Why is he being so rude?

I nod my understanding and pull out a piece of paper and a pen from my oversized purse and scribble down my name, cell and work phone.

As he takes it, I head for the door not wanting to be here at all anymore. I just need some fresh air. God who would do this? What am I going to tell Kate? When am I going to tell Kate? She's gonna be pissed.

As Christian makes his way to me a few moments later [he probably had something to say to that cop – who by the way I still don't know the name of] I want to bombard him with questions.

"I thought you called Taylor? Why didn't he come?"

"I called him again while you were zoning out and told him to stay there, since the police were already here."

I shake my head in acknowledgment.

"Come. Let's go eat. You need to eat."

"Can, we just eat at your place? I really don't feel like going out tonight."

He nods yes, and takes my arm to walk me to the car.

I really just want to sleep on it. I've lost my appetite. I have so many questions still, that I'll just have to ask Christian later.

As he helps me into the car, I buckle, close my eyes, rest my head against the window, and allow myself let all the tears flow.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm really sorry again for posting this so late! I had errands to do today sorry! I'll probably be posting again late tomorrow since I'm going to the fair. I promise I'll update twice on Monday! And thank you so much for posting comments! I was about to just stop and post this chapter tomorrow since I'm so tired, but I saw some of the comments, which made me finish this chapter! **

**A lot of you are wondering who broke into the apartment and if Jack bought the pictures. I'm not telling yet. You'll have to pay attention because I won't be saying in this upcoming chapter, but maybe the next, depending on the reviews. Constructive criticism helps just as much as compliments so thank you for that.  
**

**This chapter isn't really gonna leave you with a cliff hanger. At least I didn't try to. Please give my story time! Next chapter with be more intense, this one's more mellow.  
**

Chapter 4

As I 'm crying everything's a blur. I feel Christian reach for my hand, unbuckle me and pull me towards him.

Christian tenses as I sob into his chest. Oops. The forbidden area, I make a move to rest my head on his shoulder, but he only holds me tighter.

I look up at his face, and his eyes are clamped shut. He looks like he's in pure agony. I can't see him like this. He looks so vulnerable right now.

"Christen?"

He opens his eyes and stars down at me, and I see that he's hurting. My fifty is hurting. I force myself to stop crying, so I can see him more clearly. We need to talk. Nothing can happen yet. Not until we talk. I don't wanna start anything that can't happen.

I shrug out of his embrace and scoot over to the other side of the car.

His expression is back to normal.

I wipe my eyes, hoping that my makeup isn't smeared everywhere. One of the reasons I hate makeup: not all of it is water proof.

"Ana-," Christian stops as he reaches into his jacket pocket.

"Grey!" he snaps into his phone that must've been on vibrate, since I didn't hear it ring.

Christian's face turns from annoyance, to disgust as he listens intently to the other person talking.

"I'll call you later Welch. There are other people in the car," he says as he puts his blackberry into his pocket.

I raise my eyebrows at him and he raises one in return.

"Fine don't tell me." I turn my head to the window, as we're about to enter the garage. I know exactly who that call was about.

"Anastasia-"

"You're the one, who's stalking my boss, yet you don't get to tell me what's going on! He's my boss, for crying out loud!"

"Ana, there is time for this and it is not now!"

"Oh, so now you're mad at me!? Lovely!" I spit as I open my car door before Taylor can and turn on my heel and stalk towards the elevator.

"Anasta-"

"Just don't talk to me," I hiss as Christian gets in the elevator with me.

"You have background checks on my boss, you stalk me, and now you don't even tell me what's going on! That's a real-"

I stop as Christian's mouth finds mine. He pushes me up against the elevator, as his tongue invades my mouth. His hands are on my face, and I find that my anger vanishes.

I want this. I need this.

I kiss him back forcefully, running my hands through his hair, and he groans deep in his throat.

He pulls away, leaving me breathless as the elevator comes to a stop. My, what he does to me!

He takes a ragged breath and looks down at me. "What you do to me Anastasia," he says shaking his head.

How ironic, exactly what I was thinking.

As the elevator doors open, I'm relieved to find Taylor isn't here to greet us, but I know that's just because he's parking the car himself.

Christian takes my arm as we walk to the kitchen.

I blush as I see Taylor make his way up the elevator next.

"Hello Ms. Steele. Nice to see you," Mrs. Jones greets warmly once we're in the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"

"We haven't had dinner yet Gail."

"How about I make you two some Mac & Cheese then?" asks Gail.

"That sounds great Mrs. Jones," says Christian as he makes his way to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of white wine and plucks out two classes from a cabinet.

"Would you like some wine?" asks Christian.

"Please," I say as I make my way to one of the barstools and sit down. I hang my purse on my stool.

Christian opens the bottle and pours some wine into both classes. He hands one to me, and takes the other one and comes to sit next to me.

"We need to talk," I say sounding stronger than I feel.

Christian takes a sip of his wine and says nothing, but just raises an eyebrow at me.

He sets his class down, and turns to face me, on the bar stool.

"What do you want to talk about?" he sighs exasperated.

"To save us time, I'm just gonna get to the point. _Can _we, actually get back together?" I ask, then blush, knowing Mrs. Jones is hear listening to everything we're saying, but appears not to be paying attention to us, which I'm grateful for.

He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

"Look. I know that you said you wanted me back, and I know what happened in the… err, uh… elevator," I say elevator in an almost whisper and I know my face is beat red.

"Anastasia, _I do_ want to get back together, if I haven't already made that clear." He smirks.

I'm about to say something but he puts his hand up to stop me and continues. "You _are _everything that I need, and I would like to continue where we left off. Or around where we left off."

"Look Christian, you know how I feel. And I would like to make some adjustments. If we could discuss those after dinner, because I'm starving," I say as Mrs. Jones set our plates of Mac & Cheese in front of us.

Christian chuckles and I dig in, thanking Mrs. Jones.

* * *

We eat are meals in silence and for the first time, I finish before Christian, much to his satisfaction.

Once we're both done, I take our plates and put them in the sink.

"Ana. You don't need to do that. Mrs. Jones will."

I open my mouth to protest, but Christian cuts me off.

"It's her job Anastasia. Come," Christian demands as he holds out his hand for me to take. As I do, my skin tingles, from his touch.

He brings me to his office, and sits in his chair, gesturing for me to sit across from him.

I look at the chair questioningly.

He sees my hesitation and his expression turns to one of amusement.

"Anastasia, we are going to talk about your adjustments," he says trying to keep a straight face, but failing miserably, as a grin plays at his lips.

I make my way to the chair and sit.

"Ms. Steele, what would you like to change?" he asks smiling.

I can't help the small smile playing at my lips. I can't resist playful fifty!

"I don't want to be your sub" I say nervously. His amused expression gone, but his face softens.

"If we want to have a relationship, which we do, it should be as normal as possible for us. What I mean by that is instead of being Dom and sub, we're boyfriend girlfriend," I say as brave as I can.

Christian's amused look returns. "Boyfriend girlfriend," he says testing the words. "We could try that."

I nod my head, feeling relief flood through me and an amused look of my own spread across my face.

"But now I hope you know, that I can and will roll my eyes at you whenever I want," I point out.

"Oh Ms. Steele, you making my palms twitch." Christian leans closer to me over the table. "What shall we do about that?" Christian asks as a dark look crosses his face.

I lean closer to him until my lips are next to his ear.

"Mr. Grey, you may stow your twitching palm, because we are going to take this slow, or until _somebody_ begs," I whisper seductively into his ear and he gasps.

I pull away and sit back in my chair satisfied.

His expression is once again amused.

I stand up and make my way to the door and turn around as Christian calls my name.

"Oh Ms. Steele, I look forward to it. But I hope you know that when you want kinky fuckery, you're going to have to beg," Christian challenges.

"Oh trust me Mr. Grey. I won't be the one who begs," I say and walk out of the room to the bathroom to take a shower making sure I make my ass look hot as I put a swing in my step, the whole way to my room.

* * *

As I'm standing in the bathroom, I turn on the shower and undress.

Once I'm in the shower, I savor the hot water. It feels so good. I needed this. I also need to figure out what I'm going to tell Kate. Should I tell her tonight or tomorrow? She's earlier than me right now time wise, and I don't want her to be mad at me for putting it off. Oh well I'll call her tomorrow. I'm tired. She'll get over it and no reason to sour her mood.

Once I'm all showered, I grab a towel and wrap my hair in it, while grabbing another towel and wrapping it around me.

I'm too tired to blow dry it, so I just towel dry it as best I can. Feeling satisfied I go to my room in search of panties.

As I find the drawer, I take out a cute light grey lace tanga. I drop my towel and shimmy into it, but feel the tag still on. I grab it and yank it off. What the hell Christian?! "The tag says six hundred and forty two dollars!

Six hundred and forty two dollars for a pair of cloth that barely even covers my entire behind!

This man really goes all out.

I wrap my towel back around me and head to Christian's room in search of a T-shirt.

Before I exit my room, I stop and check to make sure no one's in the hallway. It's empty and I scamper down the hall to Christian's room.

As I'm checking his drawers for a shirt, a voice comes from behind me.

"Can I help you?" asks an amused voice I know all too well.

Crap. I'm busted. I turn around and there stands Christian with a towel around his waist.

I blush as I look up his body and meet his eyes.

He just showered too I notice as I see him very wet.

"I-I was just looking for a, um ah, a T-T sh- shirt," I stutter.

Christian points to the third drawer from the top, trying not to smile.

I shakily pull out the drawer and take out a shirt, as I blush even brighter and back out of the room, the whole time trying not to stare.

I speed walk to my room and shut the door letting out a breath of relief as I slide down the door and put my head in my hands. _Real smooth Steele._

I get up off the ground and drop my towel and shrug the T- shirt on.

I go back to the bathroom, scoop my clothes up and bring them out to lay them down on the bed and start folding. As I place my shoes under the bed, I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in," I say loud enough for whoever it is to hear.

"Hello Ana," Mrs. Jones says warmly.

"Hi Mrs. Jones," I say, the surprise evident in my voice.

"I'm sorry for intruding, but I just wanted to say thank you, personally."

I look at her confused. What'd I do? Was it because I cleaned up after dinner?

"For finding Christian," she explains and continues seeing my blank look. "Ever since he met you, he's been a different person. A happier one to be more precise, and I think of Christian as almost a son and it just makes me very happy seeing him happy, and I know that it's because of you," she blushes looking embarrassed.

I nod my head not knowing what to say, feeling embarrassed as well.

"I'm sorry Ana for dumping that on you like this. I'm just grateful I and want you to know that. Have a nice night," she says as she heads for the door.

"Mrs. Jones," I call out as she's about to leave.

She meets my eyes and I smile at her. "Thank you," I say. She returns my smile and nods then leaves.

Boy was I not expecting that.

I sit on the bed for what seems like forever, realizing it's only been two minutes. I look for my purse and remember I left it in the kitchen on the bar stool.

I realize I'm also pantless, but am too lazy to go in search of some shorts, so I quickly tip toe to the kitchen.

I see my bag and grab it. I turn around and drop it as I hear-

"Are you fucking sure?! Welch, I want those confiscated immediately! I don't give a fuck, fucking do it!" Christian yells.

Shit! All my stuff fell out! As I'm on my knees picking up my crap, I see hands helping.

I look up to see Christian.

He holds up my new iPod touch, that now has a cracked screen. "You're going to be needing a new one of these," Christian states coldly.

Shit! I sigh as I get up taking the iPod out of his hand and examining it.

It still works, so I put it back in my bag and look up at Christian.

"Are you okay?" I asked not sure why he's so angry, though I do have a feeling it's about that phone call.

"I'm fine, just tired," says Christian as he yawns.

"Sleep tight," I say as I try to weave my way around him. But he blocks me.

"What, no good night kiss?" Christian pouts.

I giggle, putting my hands on his face and give him a kiss on the lips, but break away as he tries to deepen it. Knowing that if I'm not the one to stop this, I'd be spending the night in his bed, because I know he'd make no move to stop us. Plus I told him he'd beg. And I wouldn't wanna miss that.

"Goodnight Christian," I say as I turn on my heel and stalk off towards my bedroom.

"Ana," I turn around and look at Christian.

"Goodnight," he says looking as if he wants to say more but doesn't.

I give him a warm smile and turn, making my way to my room.

* * *

**This chapter may have been a little boring, but it's just rising action! And remember comments make me work harder!**


	5. Chapter 5

**OK sorry it took me way too long to write this chapter. I was really busy and had no time. So I'm really sorry if it seems rushed or Ana or Christian are out of character or something. I'm gonna spend all day writing chapter six and you should have it before tomorrow morning. And it will be way better than this chapter since I don't feel rushed to do the next one. But sorry for keeping you guys waiting so long!**

Chapter 5

I can't fall asleep. I'm too wound up! So much has happened today!

As I'm replaying yesterday, I think about my conversation with Jack. The trip to LA is on Thursday and it's now Saturday, which means that I'll still be with Christian… Shit. This will not go well with him.

When should I tell him? If he knows that I don't wanna go, he's gonna ask why and… I can't tell him that. He'd kill Jack. _Jack deserves to die _chants my subconscious and I can't help, but agree with her.

If what Claire tells me he did is true, then he deserves to rot in hell.

Should I ask Christian to come with me? No. That brings me back to having to tell him the truth, which I'll hide from him as long as I can.

I stay away from the topic, and pick a new one.

All of a sudden, I wanna cry. I just wanna ball my eyes out as I think of what happened to my apartment.

Who would do that? I don't think I have any enemies. Maybe Kate does.

Ugh! We're gonna have to buy all new furniture! That's gonna be a pain! But I have always hated our couch. You couldn't nap in it right. And there were no footrests! This time, I'm picking out the couch and not Kate.

I glance over at the clock and it reads 2:29. I really need to fall asleep, but I'm sidetracked again as I remember what went down with Christian…

He let me touch him… _there_. I could tell it hurt him and I don't want to cause him pain, but it was nice to put my face in his chest. I've wanted to do that for so long. He smelled of Christian. The best smell in the world.

And what went down in the elevator!

I have no clue how it's gonna be between us tomorrow. Is he gonna play along with taking it slow, because I don't really think Christian Grey knows how to take it slow. He can take it slow for a minimum amount of time, but not how most people start relationships.

But then again, we're most definitely _not _most people.

Let's just see how we do for now, before I worry if this is asking too much of him. The man does have _needs. _Which is the reason that I left. I think.

I shut that thought down, horrified at myself for even thinking it. I felt so bad. I was mad at him. I don't know why, since _I'm _the one who left _him._ It's not fair for me to of been mad at him. It was my fault for leaving.

But if I hadn't left, how would things be? Would things be the same? Would I be the same person I was? Would he of felt he could do that to me anytime he wished?

Maybe it's a good thing that I left. After all, he did take me back, so it was more of us taking a break really, rather than an actual breakup… right?

I still love him. I know that. But does he love me? Can he? Does he want to? Does he think that I really am just playing a game and that he may fuck me whenever he wants for his pleasure?

I shouldn't be thinking this. He told me he wanted me back and that he wanted to change things. I just hope it's what he wants too, and he's not just doing it for me.

My life is so messed up right now. I'm hurt, angry, confused, and in love. But most of all, I'm scared. Scared someone is out to get me, scared of my boss, scared that I've fallen for someone, and scared that I'm not enough for the man I would do pretty much anything for.

I don't want to feel this way, but I do. I do and I don't know why.

I understand now, that I need Christian in my life. If he decides he doesn't want me… then what? I know I won't want anyone else but him. I live for this man.

When he was out of my life, I felt depressed. If anyone so much as referred to Christian I would wanna cry. Now if he's ever out of my life again… I'll be in despair. I wouldn't be able to take not being with him.

Tears start streaming down my cheeks and I swat them away angrily, but they keep coming. I sit up in my bed and almost sprint to the bathroom.

I don't know what to do. As I look up at myself in the mirror, my eyes are red and puffy and shiny with new tears that still have yet to fall.

I try to breathe quietly, hoping not to make any noise, as I cry silently.

I turn the water on to hot at the sink and wash my face, rubbing it hard with a wash cloth. When I'm finished I search through the drawers trying to find a hair brush and tear it through the snarls.

Once I'm finished I see a pink tooth brush that is clearly brand new, still in its packaging, probably meant for me [at least it better be]. I find a mini travel size tube of tooth paste and decide to brush my teeth.

There, I think feeling better, but I feel knew tears well up in my eyes. What's wrong with me? I leave the bathroom and go back to what Christian calls 'my room'.

Before I get back into bed, I find my purse and take out my now cracked iPod. Ugh. It's not like it has shattered or anything, it's just got a huge deep crack on the front. It still works fine.

I turn it on and enter my pass code, Ray's birthday. The wallpaper is of me and Kate. One of the only pictures I actually like of me.

We're next to each other and I'm smiling looking into the camera, while Kate is sticking her tongue out at me. I think Jose took this and sent it to me using the texting app, but I'm not really sure.

As I go to the iPod part, I go to my playlists and hit shuffle.

I flop down into the bed, and hear Ashley Tisdale's 'Me Without You' probably from my breakup playlist.

I pass out letting the music take me away.

* * *

I wake up hearing a knock on my door.

"Ugh," I grunt as a gesture to go away.

But it has the opposite effect.

"Hey, wake up sleepy head," Christian says amused walking over and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Mmm-ummmmmm," I say not being able to form a sentence. I'm so tired. I don't know why I'm so tired. _Probably because you spent the night crying your eyes out! _My subconscious states annoyingly as she once again, states the obvious.

"Yes Ana. Wake up. I've let you sleep till ten already," he says playing with my hair.

"Noooooo, go awaaay," I mumble.

"Anastasia you have fifteen minutes to get ready, before I come get you and however you look, will be your problem, not mine. And trust me, you'll want to look decent."

Christian gets up and bends down to kiss my hair, then gets up and walks away.

"Fifteen minutes Anastasia," Christian states firmly before he leaves.

I should really be getting up. I never sleep this late. Maybe nine, but not ten.

I throw the covers off of me, grab my iPod and make my way to the bathroom.

While in the bathroom, I'm relieved to see my eyes aren't puffy or red. They're normal. How odd.

I take my iPod out and hit shuffle.

'Peacock' by Katy Perry comes on and I have to bite my lip to try and not giggle.

I wash my face, brush my hair and let in hang in the straight and wavyish way it does, and brush my teeth. I hardly ever brush my teeth before I eat, but I just have a weird taste in my mouth that I want gone.

Once I'm done I go back to 'my' bedroom. I turn off my iPod while it's playing 'Gypsy' by Shakira. I go to the drawer that I found the underwear in and take out a new pair that is almost the exact same lace kind, except now they're diva pink!

I move down a drawer to find a bra, and find an exact matching one to the panties. It's a push up, but not that bad like a Drew bra would be, but like an Ella gel.

I take off my T-shirt and discard my gray panties and wiggle into the new pink ones. As I'm latching the bra, I put my arms through the straps.

I make a mental note, to next time try to put it on arms through my arms first then latching it, but I know that that probably won't work, since I've never got it to work before.

I bend down to pick up the T-shirt and gray panties and Christian comes barging in through the door looking very angry.

"Christian get out! I'm changing!" I say as I hold the T-shirt out in front of me to cover my close to naked body. I throw the T-shirt at him as he doesn't move, but forget the apparel I'm in and instantly regret it.

In a second Christian's angry look vanishes and is replaced with a hungry stare as he stares greedily down my body.

"Take a picture it'll last longer," I snap as his expression turns amused.

"Detective Clark is here," Christian says as he continues to stare at me.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" I ask sarcastically.

"Yes I have, but just felt it doesn't imply to me."

I just roll my eyes and walk to the walk in closet and pick the first thing I see.

It's a black button up plaid shirt, and as I look at the price tag it says $225. I sigh as I take it off the hanger and drop it to the floor in search of jeans.

Here we go, I think as I find a cute dark wash and skinny kick pair. Not even wanting to look at the price tag, I wiggle into them. Christian moves to get a better look, but I shut the door in his face.

Once they're on, I pick up the shirt and open the door as I'm on the last button and to my disappointment Christian's not there. I leave the top two buttons open so you can see a little bit of cleavage but not much.

* * *

I go downstairs barefoot and find Christian nowhere in sight.

"Ms. Steele?" I turn around as I hear my name. It's the man from last night.

"Yes?"

"Hi. I'm detective Clark." He holds his hand out to shake and I take it.

"Shall we sit?" Clark asks nervously, probably because it's Christian's place, so I nod and lead him to the kitchen. I motion to him with my hand to sit as I plop a spot.

"So I know you must have tons of questions, so I'll just get to what we found."

"Found?" I ask shakily.

"Yes." He takes out his briefcase and grabs out a pair of gloves and hands me a pair too. I put them on, following his lead and he takes out a folded piece of paper and hands it to me.

As I take it from him, Christian stalk s into the room, wearing a faded black T-shirt and a pair of light wash jeans, looking like a million bucks. But he also has an annoyed look on his face, and I don't know if it's because of Clark, since I know Christian does _not_ like him, or because of me slamming the door in his face, or something else.

He walks over to me, kissing my head as he passes by and sits on the bar stool across from us. Ok, I don't think he's mad at me.

Clark looks flustered, as he looks like he wants to say something, but thinks better of it and closes his mouth.

He continues as he was before, making no move to explain to Christian what's going on, like most people would. Clark just continues to talk to me.

On the folded piece of paper, it's addressed to 'Anastasia Steele' in black typed ink.

"We found this in your room on your bed," Clark says as explanation. "We took it in, but found no fingerprints. The most shocking though, is what it says."

I glance over at Christian and he looks intrigued, but also mad.

I look back at the piece of paper and open it.

'YOU WILL PAY' it reads.

I look up at Clark confused.

Christian being so impatient plucks the thing out of my hand.

"Mr. Grey! Fingerprints!" shrieks Clark.

Christian looks up at me with a frightened look, which I would imagine mirrors mine.

"Don't worry Ana, we'll catch the fucker that did this," Christian tries to reassure me, but it sounds like he's trying to reassure himself too.

"We're not sure what it means. So I would recommend having security with you at all times necessary, because all we know is that someone wants to get you to do something."

Christian just snorts at this.

I glare at him. And it's because I know Christian will not let me out of his sight and that security will be tighter than usual.

"But we also checked the security cameras," Clark continues. "We found a group of three men trashing your apartment. We can't see their faces since they were dressed all in black and had masks on, but they look Caucasian and very built, so it's a good thing you weren't there," Clark says with a nervous chuckle that causes Christian to glare at him.

"Is that all detective?" Christians hisses.

"You are free to go back to your apartment in a week."

I nod my head and thank him as he makes his way to leave.

Christian just stays where he is. I take off my gloves and throw them away then turn to Christian.

"Jack Hyde bought your pictures," Christian says disgustingly.

I just gawk at him.

"I'm having them confiscated."

"You can do that?"

Christian just gives me an evil smile. "You'd be amazed at what I can do Anastasia," he says looking in my eyes.

He gets up and moves closer to me, so our bodies are pressed against each other. I'm pushed up against the counter and Christian puts his hands on my face.

He leans down, and puts his forehead against mine and whispers "If anything were to happen to you-"

He stops shutting his eyes not being able to finish.

I wrap my arms around him and just hold him.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. I have you," I state trying to reassure him.

He opens his eyes and stares down at me with a pained expression.

He inches closer and kisses me. I kiss him back, but not like before. Before was urgent and forceful. This time it's nice. His lips are soft and his breath is minty.

He pulls away and takes me in an embrace.

"Come," he says pulling away, but taking my hand in his. "Let's eat."

In response my stomach grumbles, which makes us both burst into laughter.

**OK so the next chapter will be longer and remember constructive criticism and really helps if you don't have anything good to say, but if you do great! Reviews help! And tell me what you hope to happen in the next chapter. And how do you feel about sex scenes? Comment plz!**


	6. Chapter 6

**As promised you get chapter 6 before tomorrow morning. I love the great feedback so thank you for that! I did include a sex scene, I've never written one before so make sure to tell me what you guys think! I did add a little twist in the end so stay tuned!**

Chapter 6

Mrs. Jones makes a mean chicken salad sandwich. I must ask her what she puts in it, but perhaps later, when Christian isn't around. He's not too fond of me chatting with his staff.

As I finish I turn to Christian who has already finished his meal, and is watching me patiently and I can tell he's happy to see me eat and finish a meal.

"So what's on the agenda today Mr. Grey?"

"What do you have in mind Ms. Steele?"

"I don't know do you have anything planned?"

"Well later this evening, my parents would like to have us over for dinner."

I look at Christian and don't know what to say. I know Kate and Elliot won't be there. I really do love his parents though. Grace and Carrick are wonderful and I simply adore Mia.

"Ok, but what are we doing this afternoon?"

"Whatever you want," Christian replies, but there's something in his tone that makes me have an idea of what he wants to do.

"Mr. Grey, I thought we were going to take this slow," my voice cracks seeing that his pants have given him away.

Christian just smiles, darkly.

"Ok, then let's take this slow," Christian says seductively inching closer to me.

In one moment he sweeps me up in his arms, and carries me to his bedroom and I giggle.

"Oh Ms. Steele, I love that sound."

He closes and locks the door before setting me down and pressing me against the door. Suddenly his lips are on mine, forcing my mouth open, and I let him eagerly.

I want him so bad right now. My hands find their way to his hair and I tug. He groans against my mouth and his hands work their way to the button on my jeans.

I pull away breathless, but wanting more. He puts his forehead against mine and stares into my eyes, trying to control his breathing.

I nod my head for him to continue, but he just looks deeper into my eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asks hesitantly.

"Yes. Please."

He growls and pops the button on my jeans while kissing my neck. In one swift move, he tugs off my pants, and his lips are on mine again.

I reach for the hem of his shirt, and he lifts his arms to give me easier access. I toss his shirt to the floor and put my hands on his shoulders. Oh what I would do to kiss his chest! But I sustain, knowing it will only make him uncomfortable.

In a moment, Christian has me in his arms again and is laying me on the bed. He goes to the buttons on my shirt and it's open in moments, and his mouth is on my neck.

"I love the new panties, but they've got to go," says Christian as he pulls them off of me.

"Oh Ana, you're so wet," Christian says in awe as he slips a finger inside me. I moan as he slips a second one in me.

He starts trailing kisses from my navel up to my breasts. He tugs with his teeth at one of my bra cups, freeing my breast. He circles his tongue around my nipple, making in harden. I lean up as he goes to undo the latch of my bra. I hold my arms out so he can slide it off and once he does his lips move to my left breast and do the same torture to it as the other, giving me a pulling feeling in my groin.

I moan, as Christian's lips find mine again. He continues his torture traveling down my body to my clitoris, circling his tongue around it.

"Don't come Ana," Christian warns.

I feel a heat warm up my cheeks.

Christian continues to tease me with his tongue.

"Please Christian!" I whimper, needing him inside me.

"What is it Ana, tell me what you want."

"You!"

"Where baby?"

"You know where!"

"Say it," Christian commands.

"Inside me," I whisper.

He growls, as he reaches to the nightstand and pulls out a foil packet. He rips it open and I unbutton his pants and he springs free.

He hands me the condom and has me do the honors.

I roll it on him, just like he taught me and linger on his happy trail.

"Are you ready baby? I'm going to take you now," Christian says as he slowly sinks into me.

I cry out in pleasure.

Christian starts to move slow, but then starts to get faster.

"Christian!" I yell his name mid orgasm.

I'm breathing heavily and in a matter of seconds, I find my release.

"Oh Ana!" Christian shrieks as he finds his release.

* * *

Christian slowly sinks out of me to lie down beside me. We gaze into each other's eyes for what seems like a lifetime.

Christian is the one to break the silence first.

"I've missed you Ana. Please don't leave again," Christian pleads and as I look into his eyes, I see that he's scared. I've never seen him like this before.

"Christian, I'm not leaving. Why would you say that?" I ask as I take his head in my hands, feeling the need to comfort him.

"I need you to be safe Ana. I don't want to lose you again. I can't," Christian chokes.

I need to try not to cry, seeing him like this… it hurts me.

"I'm not going anywhere," I say as I kiss his lips. As I go to pull away Christian brings me closer, not letting me go.

I break the kiss and just lay next to him, snuggling into his shoulder.

Christian looks at the time and sighs. I have a work call in five minutes," he says to me, but making no move to get up.

I look up at him and remember I have to call Kate.

"Shit!" I say as I jump out of bed and start to get dressed. Christian sits up amused as I wriggle into panties then my jeans.

"I still have to call Kate! She's going to be pissed, that I waited so long to call her! I grab my bra and put it on looking for my shirt.

Christian gets up and helps me latch it, since my new technique is failing miserably. He buttons his jeans and walks over to the door and bends down, picking up first my shirt, then his. He slides his on and keeps mine in his hand.

I hold my hand out for it but he keeps it looking at my body.

"I'm not so sure I want to give this back to you, I'm loving just the bra," Christian says teasing.

I grab my shirt out of his grasp and put it on, but it takes me forever to button it, my fingers are shaking.

Christian just chuckles and closes the distance between us in one long stride and buttons all but the top two, in a matter of seconds.

I look up at him as he takes my head in his hands and bends down to kiss me. He pulls away first this time and swats me on the behind before saying "Laters baby."

I giggle as he turns around and walks into his office.

I sigh as I go back to 'my' room and go find my phone.

I quickly dial Kate's number and she answers on the fourth ring.

"Hey Steele! What's up?!"

"Hey Kate! I have something to tell you, that you're not going to like…"

"Are you freaking serious!?" Are you hurt did you see who did it?!"

"No Kate, I wasn't even there."

"Well what the hell!? We're gonna have to buy all new furniture! That shit's expensive!"

"I know! But I get to pick the couch this time. Yours might have been a designer one, but I want comfortable!"

"I suppose you're right, but I get to narrow it down!"

"I'm coming home early, with Ethan on Wednesday. We'll talk then."

"K, see you Kavanaugh!"

"Laters Ana!" Kate yells, and I can tell she's been hanging around Elliot too much.

As I go downstairs, I look for something to do. I decide, I feel like reading an actual book. Not an Ebook, and not off a computer or a Kindle, I need the comfort of a real book.

I go in search of Christian's library and find it almost right away. As I'm searching, somebody clears their throat behind me.

I turn around and there stands Christian.

"Done with your call, I presume?" Christian asks.

"Yes I am, you?"

Christian just smirks.

"Ana… I need to talk to you."

Christian sounds nervous, so I move closer to him until I'm standing right in front of him.

"Come, let's go sit," Christian takes my hand and I follow him into the living room. He leads us to the couch and sits down, and I sit next to him. I don't know why, but I feel shaky.

"I want you to move in with me," Christian says staring into my eyes and I think I see fear in his.

I don't know what to say. I'm completely dumbfounded. Christian Grey just asked me to move in with him. It's only been like a day since we got back together. Is he crazy!? I don't want to say no, but it's just too soon and I don't even know if this is going to work out. I know I want it to, but I'm not sure yet.

"Christian… it's just too soon… I-I need to think about this. I mean it's only been a little more than a day and I just… I live with Kate and my job and I-I don't know."

Christian's face falls and I know he's disappointed. He nods his head as if he understands, but I know he doesn't.

"Let me think about it. Maybe in a month or so, but just not yet…" I trail off as I see his expression grow sadder.

"Hey. Look at me," I say feeling much braver than I should. "Time. Just give it - no just give us some time."

"Ana I-"

Christian stops as if he can't say anymore.

I'm wondering if now would be a good time to tell him about Jack… I should bring it up, before I lose my nerve.

"Christian, I need to tell you something that I know you're not going to like." He raises his eyebrows at me and continue.

"I have to go to LA on Thursday, with Jack to give a presentation, and it will be an overnight thing, so I'd have to leave on Thursday morning and I'd be back Friday afternoon," I say but instantly regret it as his face turns from pain, to anger, to disbelief.

"No. No Anastasia, you are not going, on some overnight trip with one of the people who want you in your PANTIES!" Christian shouts, not being able to control his temper.

"Why not!? You go on business trips with women who want you in your briefs!" I challenge.

"I said no Anastasia! End of discussion!" Christian shouts as he gets off the couch and stalks toward his office. Oh no he does NOT get the last word, so I stalk after him.

"Christian, this is my BOSS! Not some random stranger I just met!" I yell as he continues to go to his office.

"Christian! Christian look at me!"

He doesn't and instead goes in his office and slams the door. This discussion is not over. I open the door and storm into his office. He's in his chair on his computer.

"I'm going. I already have the tickets and told Jack yes, so you can't do anything about it!" I yell and now I've got his attention and he glowers at me, but before he can say anything I turn around and storm out of his office.

"Ana. Anastasia! You are NOT going and that is final!" Christian shouts as he comes after me this time.

I whirl around at him. "You DO NOT get to make all my decisions for me! I am an adult God dammit! This is for my job, not for some stupid family vacation!" I shout pointing my finger at him.

I can tell he's trying to control his temper. He's running a hand through his hair and his eyes are shut tight as if he's trying to imagine happier thoughts.

I don't want to make him mad. Hell I don't even want to go on this stupid trip. To be truthful, I'm frightened to even be going alone with Jack. But I need to if I wanna keep my job.

"What if you come with me?" I ask hoping I don't sound too hopeful. If he came with I wouldn't even need to stay overnight since I know Christian would take his private helicopter and we'd be back before midnight.

"I really need this job Christian," I plead hoping he'll say yes. "You can trust me Christian. Nothing bad will happen."

"I know I can trust you Ana. It's him I don't trust," Christian says opening his eyes and I can see that his anger has vanished but is replaced by fear. Fear for what? Fear for me? Fear for us?

"As much as I would love to come with you Ana… I can't. But you're taking Sawyer and Ryan with you," Christian says exasperated.

I gasp and smile. "I can go!?" I ask excitedly.

"I suppose, but Ana, if anything happens to you, I will fucking kill that fucker," Christian growls.

"We have to leave in about an hour if we want to get there at five," Christian states clearly still trying to control his temper.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down so I can give him a kiss. He's taken by surprise, but within a second he responds.

Christian kisses me back hard and hoists me up so that that I have to wrap my legs around his waist. The whole time our tongues exploring each others mouth and I moan into his. He pushes me up against the wall and kisses my neck and back up to my lips.

Within a moment he breaks away and leans his forehead against mine, while both of us try and catch our breath.

"I'm going to take a shower. Join me," Christian commands.

"Ok," I reply still trying to fix my breathing. I can feel Christian's smile against my lips.

"Mhmm," Taylor clears his throat standing in the doorway.

"Christian sets me down and wraps his arm around my waist to keep me close.

I know I'm blushing like crazy, embarrassed that Taylor caught us in that position.

"What is it Taylor?" Christian asks more serious.

"Sir, Mrs. Lincoln is on her way up now to see you," Taylor shrugs apologetically.

**What do you guys think about Elena? Good? Bad? Expected? Reviews always help and make sure to write what you want to see happen, because I just might make it;] I don't know if I'll be able to get a chapter done tomorrow, but I'll try my best! And thoughts on Christian and Ana?**


	7. Chapter 7

**OMG I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO POST THIS CHAPTER! SCHOOL JUST STARTED AND I HAVE VOLLEYBALL AND I CARPOOL AFTERWARDS SO I DON'T GET HOME TILL AFTER FIVE AND THEN I HAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER AND DO HOMEWORK AND CRAP SO I HAVE LIKE NO TIME TO TYPE! THIS CH MAY BE A LITTLE RUSHED AND IS A LITTLE SHORTER THAN ALL OF THE OTHERS BUT NOT BY THAT MUCH! SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE AGAIN AND I PROMISE YOU WILL GET ANOTHER ONE BEFORE TUESDAY! I CAN PROMISE THAT. I HOPE YOU GUYS STICK WITH ME AND THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL THE REVIEWS! HERE IS CHAPTER 7!**

Fifty Shades Needed

Chapter 7

Christian tenses. I look up at him and he looks down at me looking almost apologetic.

Mrs. Lincoln, why is that name so familiar? I think to myself. And then it hits me as she walks into the room.

She's a very attractive blonde woman, dressed in all black.

She's wearing a black dress that shows off all her curves and six inch black pumps, which now make her maybe an inch or two shorter than Christian. Her hair is piled up on top of her head in a very sophisticated type bun.

I hate her. She's Mrs. Robinson. The fucking child molester. She needs to get the hell out.

When she sees me she doesn't look surprised. But Christian did tell me at one point she does this stuff too, so that means she must know when Christian has his subs over because she would too… But I'm not his fucking sub! My subconscious screams. But then if she's here today… right now… where's her sub? Like I give a shit.

She smiles at Christian a little too warmly and walks over to give him a kiss on the cheek. I want to claw her throat out. He smiles back at her, but not like she did to him, which makes me feel a little bit better.

She takes a small step back and looks down at me with a smile that doesn't touch her eyes.

"Hello dear, you must be Anastasia," Elena says a little too brightly. I do my best to smile at her but it turns into a bit of a grimace.

I look up at Christian, and he must feel the awkward tension as he meets my gaze and gives me a tight smile before turning back to Elena.

"I'm so sorry for intruding, I know that it's a Saturday and you're probably busy…" Elena trails off and I feel Christian stiffen beside me and pull me closer.

"Anastasia is my girlfriend Elena, not my sub," Christian states and if I'm not mistaken he looks happy.

Elena looks taken aback as she looks up at Christian and down at me in bewilderment, but she recover almost right away.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't mention that Christian," Elena says as she looks up at him and smiles at him.

"Well it's not really any of your business Elena."

"Of course not, but I was hoping we could talk…" Elena trails off as a worried looks crosses her face.

"Come," Christian says as he pulls me and motions to Elena to follow him. He leads us to the bar stools in the kitchen and lets me go to retrieve three wine classes from the cabinet.

I feel very uneasy with this woman being here.

Elena pulls out one of the stools and sits as Christian goes to the fridge and takes out a bottle of pink wine. One of his favorites, but I cannot bring myself to remember the name of it.

I do my best to pull out a bar stool gracefully, and am relieved I don't trip.

Christian pours our wine and walks to the barstool across from me. He hands us both a glass and I take an eager sip, to quench my thirst.

He turns to Elena expectantly and she says nothing.

"What's up?" Christian asks with a look of concern that makes the fire inside me rage.

"Could I talk to you alone?" Elena asks as I feel her eyes wander over to me.

"Anything you say to me, you can say to Ana, she's with me now," Christian says and if I'm not mistaken I sense a little pride in his voice which makes me smile.

Elena looks at him with pure happiness. It makes me sick.

"Well, ah… I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I promised her I'd tell you…"

Christian looks up at her confused.

"It's Leila… she's back and her husband died and she found me…"

Christian's face pales and he shifts uncomfortably, and that makes me remember. Leila, Christian's sub who put Toxic on his iPod! Holy fuck!

"Well she wanted me to ask you if you would be her dom again, but I told her you already were one-"

"Ana is not my sub and I am not her dom!" Christian nearly shouts and his face turns red with anger.

"Right. I didn't that at the time though, since you haven't been filling me in and I promised her I'd talk to you, but she wanted me to come in person – and to be honest I didn't mind since we haven't seen each other in a while – and anyways, I just needed to tell you that."

I feel myself pale, but then I feel rage. Christian is mine and no one else can have him! And what the hell is she doing here trying to get Christian a new sub! There are so many things I would like to say, but don't have to the balls to do in front of Christian.

I put my hands into fists and keep them at my side, but can no longer control it as Christian glares at Elena and Elena glares back. I get up and take my wine.

Christian looks at me with questioning eyes and then they turn to one of realization. I glance at Elena but she doesn't look at me, she just continues to stare at Christian. I turn on my heel and stalk out of the kitchen and head for the bathroom nearest Christian's room.

"Ana!" Christian shouts after me and the tears start to fall.

Is there a chance that he wants to be with that Leila girl? Or Elena? The thought makes me sick and I'm glad I'm in the bathroom, since I don't know if I'm going to barf or not.

Gosh, I cannot lose Christian. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He makes me me. I'm being stupid. I'm just mad at Mrs. Fucking Robinson!

I have no clue if Christian's going to come after me or not. I don't know if I want him to. I know I'm being ridiculous, but I just don't understand what he sees in me. Why he wants me. I'm pale, have ugly hair, am too skinny, and not to mention, my eyes are too big for my face.

As I dash the tears off my face a knock comes on the door.

"Ana?"

Oh shit. Not her.

"Ana dear? It's me Elena. Can I come in so we can talk?"

I hesitate before I open the door. The only thing I want to do right now is curl up in a ball and have Christian wrap his arms around me.

I turn the knob and don't have the strength to look her in the eyes.

"Ana, I'm very sorry to of made you upset. I know Christian really likes you and to be honest, I've never seen him like this."

I look up and meet her gaze as she looks into my eyes.

"I can tell he loves you Ana, but I just want you to know, that if you hurt him again, I will make you sorry," she almost spits at the end.

Wait… how the… he… but she… love? Does Christian love me? I love him, but she can't know this.

"Excuse me?"

"He came to me and was in the worst state I've ever seen him in. He was heartbroken and it was because of you."

What the hell is her problem? Is she really threatening me? Did she really see Christian? For all I know every word out of her mouth is a lie.

I can't form any words and a small giggle escapes my mouth. I don't know who's more shocked me or her? She looks at me with heated eyes.

"Do you think this is funny?" she hisses.

"Yes, I do. You're even dumber than I thought," I say as another giggle racks through my body again.

She glares at me and I can tell she's tempted to rip my throat out. I feel the exact same way about her.

I frown as I recall her telling me about her seeing Christian. Did he really go see her? It breaks my heart at the thought.

I feel the sudden urge to cry, but I hold it together.

"If you would excuse me, I'm going to go see my _boyfriend"._

I bump into her shoulder as I swerve around her and start down the hall, but she grabs my shoulder and pins me against the wall.

"Listen here you little bitch," Elena hisses. I struggle as I try to break her hold, but she just pins me harder against the wall.

"I make Christian just as happy as you do. I make him happier than you. I will get him back, because I am successful, beautiful, and I know him. I know him _really _well. I can give him what he wants. What he _needs. What he desires. _You can't you dirty little slut. He will be mine and I will be his and you will go back to whatever poor little thing you are."

"Fuck you you bitch," I spit at her as I break her hold. "Christian doesn't care for you in that way dumbass. You're just his business partner and an old _friend. _He will never fall for you. I would recommend that you go back to reality and know that you're just the fucked up forty year old woman who fucked up a fifteen year olds life. Now if you would excuse me, I have a boyfriend to get back to," I say as I turn in my heal and stalk out of the room, leaving Elena shocked.

As I make my way to the kitchen I hear Christian in his office and see Gail cleaning the kitchen.

I wobbly make my way over to the kitchen island and sit on a bar stool. Gail glances up at me with a warm smile, but it fades in a nanosecond and is replaced with a frown and concerned look.

"Is everything alright Ana, can I get you anything?"

I nod my head. "Actually, may I have a glass of wine please?" I ask feeling parched.

She smiles and nods. "White?"

"Yes please."

As Gail pours my wine, Christian comes and wraps his arms around my and kisses my head.

"Make that two Mrs. Jones," Christian commands as he comes to sit down beside me.

"Are you ok? Did Elena talk to you?" Christian asks taking my hand. "I told her she can see her way out when she's ready."

I nod and try to smile but fail seeing his expression change.

"Ana, what did she say?"

I say nothing as Mrs. Jones sets our glasses down in front of us. I take it nervously and take a big swig.

"Ana? I tried to go after you, but got a phone call and Elena, beat me to it," he says looking sorry.

I'm at a loss for words and I don't want to look him in the eye, because I know he wouldn't believe me.

"Did you see her, when I was gone?" and I can't help the question from escaping my mouth.

Christian shifts and I can see his expression change to one of anger.

"No, I did not. Why would you ask me something like that Ana? If you're implying that I cheated on you the answer is hell no!" Christian almost shouts at me.

I'm taken by surprise. I didn't think that. Why on earth would he?

"I'm sorry, I didn't imply that you had, I just wanted to know why you went to see her."

Christian's face changes expressions and settle into one of confusion.

"I didn't see go see her. What gave you that idea?" Christian asks as he becomes calmer.

"She lied. I only talked to her on the phone, I couldn't see anyone…" Christian trails off and I just want to cradle him in my arms. I regret that day. I wish I never caused him that pain and I wish I never experienced it.

"Christian… I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me," I say not knowing where this braveness is coming from and figure it's from the wine.

He looks at me and he his face pales as a look of fear crosses his face.

"She… she told me something… and I just need to know if it's true…" I say as I get closer to him.

He stares up at me with something that makes me think I shouldn't ask but know I need to.

"Do you love me Christian?"

He gasps and stares into my eyes with such a pained expression that I feel a tear stream down my cheek.

He doesn't say anything for the longest time and shuts his eyes.

"He opens them again and his expression doesn't change and he wipes the tear away from my face with his thumb and takes my head in his hands.

"Yes. You're right. I do."

**WAS THIS WAY TOO RUSHED? WHAT'D YOU THINK? AND SORRY TO SOME OF THE OTHERS WHO HAD AMAZING IDEAS BUT I ALREADY HAD THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD AND I STUCK TO IT. BUT I MIGHT TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION FOR CHAPTER 8 SINCE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING TO TYPE SINCE I USUALLY WING IT. AND WHAT'S YOU THINK WITH THE BITCH TROLL?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Alright I finally posted this chapter! I am soooo sorry for the delay! School has been really hectic! I have volleyball after and I don't get home till after five and then I have homework I have to take a shower, be with my family and a lot more! But I finally got this chapter done! Tell me what you guys think in the reviews pretty please! Thank you to everyone who has posted a review or listed as a favorite or a follower or anything! But anyways here's my chapter! Hope you like it!**

Chapter 8

I beam at Christian. He loves me. He just admitted that he loves me. Bitch Troll wasn't lying. We're in love.

Christian doesn't return my smile. Instead he frowns at me. My smile fades and I look into his eyes, and I can tell he's scared.

"Christian, what's wrong?"

"How can you love me Ana? After what I've done to you, I don't deserve your love and I don't deserve to love you…" Christian trails off, his voice barely above a whisper.

I get up and move closer to him. "How can you say that? Christian you are a very easy person to love and I love you so much that it frightens me some times how much. I never knew someone could feel as strongly for someone as I you. Of course you deserve my love and what's wrong with me having yours?"

Christian looks up at me in bewilderment. I know how negative he looks toward his self.

"Ana-"

"No Christian. Enough. Stop thinking so low of yourself and just accept what is."

He won't look me in the eye. He still, after everything I've said doesn't believe me. I can tell this will take time.

"Christian," I say as I take his head in my hands. This makes him look at me. "What will it take for you to understand…?"

Christian breaks my hold and stands up.

This takes me by surprise and I feel a pang of hurt. I recover but not before he sees.

"Ana…" Christian says pained knowing that he's hurt my feelings.

"What Christian?" I snap a little harsher than I meant to and making Christian flinch. This shouldn't have to be a fight. We just proclaimed our love for each other and all that has happened is Christian's become uneasy and I hurt.

Christina opens his mouth to say something but then shuts it.

I know something's wrong. Christian's keeping something from me.

"Christian what aren't you telling me?" I ask then regret it seeing anger fill his eyes. "Please Christian. You can tell me anything, I won't run. I promise, not matter how bad it is."

Christian just stares at me, his anger evaporating. I hold his gaze. And once again he breaks it and now I feel a million miles away from him, while he's just standing ten feet away from me.

"I can't tell you," Christian whispers.

I raise my eyebrows and stare at him waiting for him to look up. He doesn't so I walk toward him so that we're standing so close we're touching. He looks down at me with a warning expression.

I ignore him and wrap my arms around him and just hug him. My hands wrapped around his waist and my head against his chest. I feel him tense and he eventually relaxes and wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my hair.

He pulls away first putting his arms around my waist and looks down at me.

"I'm so sorry Ana."

"No. No don't be sorry, I'm sorry. If you're not ready to tell me than that's fine, but I just want you to know, that I'm not running. I want to be here with you."

"Oh Ana," Christian says as he pulls me up and lifts me on to the counter. This takes me by surprise and I wrap my legs around his waist in fear of falling, but know that he would never let me.

He leans in and kisses me with passion, but I also sense fear. I kiss him back, but not with the same passion that he has for me. I know he's only doing this to make sure we're okay. It's the only way he knows to be sure, so I give in.

He breaks away and we're both breathless. "How about that shower, Ms. Steele?"

* * *

Once we're done in the shower Christian makes his way to his office and leaves me to myself. I go in search of my Mac that Christian has ordered back to me and bring it back to 'our' room.

I pull down the covers and climb in. Alright, time to get comfy. I put two pillows behind me and take Christian's two and put one on either side of me. Now I have four and Christian has zero.

I fire up the Mac and get started, not caring about Christian's pillows at the moment.

I get through about three online manuscripts and stop seeing that my eyes can't focus as well on a computer screen as paper and go to my videos and am in luck that I have that streaming thing because now all I want to do is curl up and watch my vampire diaries, since I've become its slave.

I'm on episode eight season two and get a little teary eyed as Damon and Elena are in her room and Damon is telling Elena that he loves her, but he compels her to forget. This is my favorite episode so far! It makes me mad that I can't think of what song this is that comes on.

Christian walks through the door and gives me a questioning look, probably at my position or at my crying. I hit the space bar to pause it and wipe my eyes as Christian strides over to me to see what I'm doing I'm sure.

He peers over at the screen and his eyes dart to mine. He raises an eyebrow. I pluck out my earphones and exit out of the screen.

"Vampire Diaries," I say as an explanation, and shrug feeling a blush creep to my cheeks.

Christian just stares at me and shakes his head, before going over to his dresser and striping off his pants and shirt, pulling out a new pair of boxers then taking off his old ones. I can't help but stare at him as my gaze slips up and down his body greedily.

He catches me staring and smirks. "Enjoying the show?" Christian asks smiling.

I blush and turn back to my computer and shut it down.

Christian goes to his closet and pulls out two pillows.

"Oh, I don't need these." I pluck out the pillows on my sides which have formed my kind of body shape into part of them.

"Thanks," he says with a sidetracked tone and I know something is wrong. He strides over and pulls back the cover and climbs in.

"Christian? What's wrong?" I ask concern evident in my voice.

He just looks at me and gets that expression that says 'not now'.

"Later, right now I just want to be inside you," Christian says as he pulls the Mac of the bed and sets it on his night stand.

I gasp as Christian pulls me under him. I giggle.

"Ms. Steele, I love that sound."

I giggle again as Christian hoists my very large T-shirt up and trails kisses up my stomach.

I gasp as I feel that pull in my groin. I want him inside me. No, I need him inside me. I run my hands through his hair, knowing that this is what he likes.

He starts trailing his kisses down _there. _He pulls down my panties and tosses them on the floor. I moan as he blows on my clitoris. I want him. I want him now.

"Oh Anastasia, you're so wet. One of the things I love about you," he says as he slips a finger inside me.

I'm too distracted to have a conversation right now. I let out another mangled moan as he starts to put two fingers in and out of me.

How does he do this to me? How can I _need _him so badly?

"Oh, please Christian," I whimper, not sure how long I can go without coming.

"Patience Ana," Christian commands. He reaches for my shirt and pulls it off over my head. He sits up and stares down at me, which makes me blush.

A small smile creeps up to his face and I know he's enjoying seeing me like this.

"Ms. Steele, you look beautiful right now," Christian says and I can feel my face burning with embarrassment.

I bite my lip and Christian growls and reaches over to his nightstand to grab a condom I'm sure. I hear the foil packet rip. Christian turns to me and hands me the condom and I eagerly take it and pull his erection free and put on the condom.

I must say he looks amazing like this, and I must go back on the pill so that we don't need one of these since I know he hates them and I'm not so fond of them either.

I trail my hand on his happy trail and he groans and takes me by the shoulders and flips me over.

"We're going to try it like this baby, nice and slow at first to let you get used to it, and you will have a much stronger orgasm as I take you from behind."

Oh my God. He's going to take me from behind! I feel a thrill of excitement as he runs his fingers on my butt cheek, but also I'm very afraid and for the right reasons.

"Sit up on your knees and bend over," Christian commands.

I do as he says and get on my knees.

He caresses my behind with his hand. He moves his hand and traces my sex with his pointer finger.

I can't help the moan that escapes my mouth. I want him so badly.

"Christian please," I whimper.

"Oh Ana," Christian says as he puts a finger in my behind.

I gasp and am very surprised by how it feels. It feels good, but also odd.

"I'm going to take you now Ana," Christian says as he slowly sinks into me.

I cry out more in surprise then from pain.

"Just tell me if you want me to stop and I'll stop," Christian states.

"Safe word?" I ask.

"No just say stop and I'll stop."

I exhale and shake my head for him to continue.

"Here we go Ana," Christian says as he slowly starts to move.

I cry out again and let him take me. He keeps his pace and I'm grateful, I don't think I could do any faster without collapsing.

"Christian!" I shout as he plunges into me again. I find my release as he finds his.

I hear Christian saying something, but I cannot tell what it is until I finish coming.

I realize that what he's saying is my name.

Christian slowly pulls out of me and plops down beside me. He stares into my eyes and says "What you do to me Ana…" he trails off in wonder.

"No Christian. What you do to me," I say as I lean over and kiss him, but the kiss deepens and before I know it Christians leaning over and pulling out a new foil packet.

* * *

*** The next afternoon***

As I go to walk into Christian's study, I stop in my tracks. I hear a giggle in Taylor's office and I'm sure it didn't come from Taylor. I inch my way closer to see what I heard and I cover my mouth as I gasp.

Oh my God. Gail and Taylor! I see Taylor with his arms around Gail's waist and he's smiling down at her. She has her hands around his neck and I can't see her expression since she's turned the other way around.

I inch backwards as I see him lean down and kiss her. Oh my God, Taylor and Gail! I can't process this right. Does Christian know? Of course he doesn't know! He wouldn't allow staff to … mingle, would he? He hates me flirting with the staff, but then again, he hates me flirting with anyone.

I have absolutely no idea what to do right now. Christian said he had to make a few phone calls and we would go out to dinner with Carrick, Grace and Mia later this evening, which I find with surprise that I'm actually kind of excited to do. I mean I haven't seen Kate in so long so I haven't gotten a chance to have girl talk in forever, but I know I can with Mia, it's what she lives for. Well not really.

I decide to go in search of his library and take my lab top with me to do some work so that I'm ahead of some work. I'll just go talk to Christian later. I don't even really remember what I was going to say to him. Oh well.

I turn around on my heel and stalk off to 'our' bedroom to grab my lab top. I also grab my briefcase and earphones just in case I want to watch Vampire Diaries…

I find Christian's library easily, but that's probably because I've been in here recently. This place is like a mansion. I wonder if he actually owns a mansion…

I get two more manuscripts done before I break down. VD time!

I plug my earphones in and go to my library…

I just don't understand this show sometimes. So Elena is Jenna's dead sister's husband's brother and her mother is her boyfriend's dead wife who is also a vampire. As I'm contemplating this I hear Christian clear his throat in the doorway.

I look up and see that he's smirking at me. Wow, he can really make a white T-shirt and dark wash jeans look good.

"What's so funny?" I ask completely unaware.

"You," he says as a matter of fact.

"Me?"

"Yes. You look very confused. It's amusing."

"Amusing?"

"Yes. What's got you so confused?"

"A TV show," I respond and laugh at his expression. Now he looks confused.

"How can a TV show be confusing, and how can you watch TV?"

Now I look confused.

"You don't watch TV?" I ask.

Christian just shakes his head.

"Why not? Everyone watches TV."

He shrugs "Waste of my time," he says by way of explanation.

"Not even for sports?"

"Depends," he says as he plays with the straps on my floral dress.

"On?"

"You are asking a lot of questions."

"Do you not like questions?" I ask and a small smile creeps to my face and I shut my computer down and get out of my chair and make my way to Christian.

"Not particularly."

"Why not," I ask and can't help but giggle as he gives me an exasperated look.

"What were you exactly so confused about," Christian asks with mock curiosity ignoring my question.

"What Jenna just said."

"Who?"

"You'll have to watch the show to know," I say as I sneak around him, but he grabs my wrist and spins my around to him.

I look up into his eyes and am reminded of last night.

"What was bothering you yesterday?"

Christian's expression drops and he turns his head away from me.

"Christian, what is it?"

He doesn't answer me and just keeps staring in the other direction.

I'm about to say something, but Christian does instead.

"I know who broke into your apartment."

* * *

**Alright what'd you guys think? Good, bad, alright, terrible? And don't worry it's about to get more interesting. I have some idea's but usually I just wing it. And I have a question for you guys. Do you picture Ana or Christian sleeping on the right or left side of the bed? I've always wondered that. I try to picture it as how my parents sleep together, but that's not how I pictured it before... Anyway I just wanted to know and I will try to post chapters weekly! Again sorry for the delay!**


	9. Author's Note

Hey guys, really really sorry about not updating:[ I started this this summer and got really into it, but now I'm back in school and have a ton of papers to write and books to read and tests to study for and I just haven't had the time to write. I really do love writing this story, but it might have to wait till Christmas break, because I usually get a break from school work then. But don't worry, I will continue with this story and will not quit on you… but not for a little while. Thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews and I promise I will finish it! Fifty Shades Needed will not be discarded! And again I'm really sorry for not telling you guys sooner. If you have any questions for me or comments you know what to do and I will try and answer as many questions as I can:] Thanks for not giving up on my story.


	10. Author's Note 2

Sorry for the confusion everybody! My chapters were starting to lose their life span so I reposted them and they got mixed up in the process! IDK how but I fixed it! Sorry for confusion again!

-Tori


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